Robert De Niro Ex-Wife: Meet Grace Hightower and Diahnne Abbott, the Actor’s Two Former Spouses
Robert De Niro recently stepped out with girlfriend Tiffany Chen at the New York premiere of his upcoming comedy Focker-in-Law, drawing renewed attention to his personal life and previous relationships. The 83-year-old actor appeared alongside Chen at the Beacon Theatre, where they posed together on the red carpet. The appearance followed news about his former partner Toukie Smith, prompting fresh interest in the women who have been part of the Oscar-winning actor’s life.
Robert De Niro has been married twice. His first wife was actress Diahnne Abbott, whom he married in 1976, while his second wife was actress and philanthropist Grace Hightower, whom he married in 1997. Both relationships played significant roles in his family life, and he shares children with both women.
Who Are Robert De Niro’s Ex-Wives?
Robert De Niro’s two former wives are Diahnne Abbott and Grace Hightower.
Abbott was his first wife, and their marriage lasted from 1976 until 1988. They raised two children together, including Abbott’s daughter from a previous relationship, whom De Niro adopted.
His second marriage was to Grace Hightower, whom he met while she was working at a London restaurant. They married in 1997, briefly separated in 1999, reconciled and eventually announced another separation in 2018.
Although De Niro has had other significant relationships, including those with Toukie Smith and Tiffany Chen, neither woman was married to him.
Who Is Robert De Niro’s First Wife Diahnne Abbott?
Diahnne Abbott is an American actress and singer who appeared in several notable films during the 1970s and 1980s.
She met De Niro during the production of Taxi Driver, the 1976 Martin Scorsese film that helped establish him as one of Hollywood’s leading actors.
Abbott also appeared in Taxi Driver, playing a concession girl at an adult movie theater. Her other acting credits include The King of Comedy and Love Streams.
The couple married in 1976, during a period when De Niro’s career was gaining international recognition.
Their marriage lasted approximately 12 years before ending in divorce in 1988. Abbott subsequently maintained a relatively private life, making fewer public appearances than her former husband.
Robert De Niro and Diahnne Abbott’s Children
Robert De Niro and Diahnne Abbott raised two children together.
Their son, Raphael De Niro, was born in 1976. He briefly pursued acting before establishing a career in New York real estate.
Abbott also had a daughter, Drena De Niro, from an earlier relationship. Robert adopted Drena after marrying Abbott and helped raise her as his own child.
Drena later pursued acting and appeared in films including Great Expectations, Showtime and Joy.
Although Abbott and De Niro separated many years ago, their children remain part of the actor’s extended family.
Who Is Robert De Niro’s Second Wife Grace Hightower?
Grace Hightower is an American actress, philanthropist and entrepreneur who became De Niro’s second wife.
Born on April 7, 1955, in Mississippi, Hightower worked in several industries before becoming involved in entertainment and charitable projects.
She previously worked as a flight attendant and later held a position at the London restaurant Mr. Chow.
That restaurant became particularly important in her personal life because it was where she met De Niro in 1987.
Hightower subsequently appeared in films including Precious and The Paperboy.
She also established Coffee of Grace, a business focused on supporting Rwandan coffee producers and promoting economic opportunities.
Her career and philanthropic interests continued independently of her marriage to De Niro.
When Did Robert De Niro Marry Grace Hightower?
Robert De Niro married Grace Hightower in 1997, approximately a decade after they first met.
The couple welcomed their son, Elliot, the following year.
However, their relationship experienced difficulties, and De Niro filed for divorce in 1999. The proceedings included disagreements over custody arrangements.
They eventually reconciled without finalizing that divorce.
In 2004, De Niro and Hightower renewed their wedding vows during a celebration attended by prominent friends, including Martin Scorsese and Meryl Streep.
The reconciliation lasted several more years, and the couple welcomed another child before separating again in 2018.
Their relationship remained a significant part of De Niro’s personal life for more than two decades.
Why Did Robert De Niro and Grace Hightower Separate?
Robert De Niro and Grace Hightower announced their separation in November 2018 after approximately 21 years of marriage.
Neither publicly provided a detailed explanation identifying one specific reason for the relationship ending.
De Niro acknowledged the separation in a statement and emphasized that they remained committed to raising their children.
He also described the transition as difficult while expressing respect for Hightower as a mother.
Their separation later attracted attention because of financial disagreements and legal proceedings involving their marital agreement.
However, the couple generally avoided discussing the more personal circumstances surrounding their breakup.
How Many Children Does Robert De Niro Have With Grace Hightower?
Robert De Niro and Grace Hightower have two children together.
Their son, Elliot De Niro, was born in March 1998.
Their daughter, Helen Grace De Niro, was born in December 2011 through a surrogate.
The couple maintained considerable privacy around their children’s upbringing.
De Niro has occasionally discussed fatherhood during interviews, including the challenges of raising children across different generations.
Despite their separation, he and Hightower have continued sharing responsibilities as parents.
Their children are part of De Niro’s larger family, which includes seven children from several relationships.
Was Toukie Smith Robert De Niro’s Wife?
Toukie Smith was Robert De Niro’s former girlfriend, not his wife.
The actress and model dated De Niro from approximately 1988 until 1996, following his divorce from Diahnne Abbott.
Smith was known for her successful modeling career and her role as Eva Rawley in the television sitcom 227.
The couple welcomed twins in 1995 through a surrogate.
Their children are Julian De Niro and Airyn De Niro.
Smith passed away in November 2026 at the age of 74 following a prolonged illness. Her children publicly confirmed the news and paid tribute to her achievements in fashion and entertainment.
Although Smith and De Niro never married, their relationship remains an important part of his family history.
Who Is Robert De Niro Dating Now?
Robert De Niro is currently in a relationship with Tiffany Chen, a martial arts instructor.
The couple first met while working on the 2015 film The Intern, in which Chen appeared as a tai chi instructor.
They became romantically linked in 2021 after being photographed together during a vacation.
In April 2023, they welcomed a daughter named Gia Virginia Chen De Niro.
Gia is De Niro’s seventh child.
De Niro and Chen have generally maintained a private relationship, although they occasionally attend public events together.
Their appearance at the Focker-in-Law premiere in November 2026 demonstrated their continued relationship.
There has been no confirmed public announcement that the couple has married.
Robert De Niro’s Ex-Wives and Family Life Today
Robert De Niro’s personal life includes two marriages, several long-term relationships and seven children.
His first wife, Diahnne Abbott, was part of his life during his early Hollywood success. His second wife, Grace Hightower, shared more than two decades with him and became the mother of two of his children.
He also raised twins with former girlfriend Toukie Smith and welcomed his youngest daughter with current partner Tiffany Chen.
Despite the attention surrounding his relationships, De Niro has repeatedly emphasized the importance of family.
For readers searching for Robert De Niro’s ex-wife, the actor has two former spouses, Diahnne Abbott and Grace Hightower. His current partner is Tiffany Chen, with whom he shares his youngest daughter, Gia.
